Not so consistent

I honestly wanted to try and be more consistent with my postings, however, it seems like my desires and my actions aren't in sync yet.

Recently, I have felt the strong desire to be doing something for God. Now many people would ask, "Being a missionary isn't enough for you?" And I would have to tell them no. It's doing things that are so beneath the surface that I can't see the progress. Maybe this is all in God's plan for me but maybe it isn't. My heart longs to see those I've come to love here baptized and seeking God's face. Two men especially.

One of my teaching sites has a man who is very interested in Christianity. He hasn't expressed interest in becoming baptized yet but there's a part of me that feels like it's only a matter of time. His name is Hiro and if you wouldn't mind, please pray that the knowledge and love of our Savior enter his heart and mind as soon as possible.

The other man has never been my student in the traditional class sense but is very much my student now, just as I am his. I met this man through my fiance' Katrina. He was one of her students and from the start he seemed to pull me in his direction. However with this student it doesn't feel as much like an eventuality as a battle for the Lord. I can see the struggles on his face and many people will agree that once he becomes Christian it would be the type that is gung-ho and moving forward. I can see the strength in him and pray that God bursts it from his being into this world. I love him dearly and to see his struggles pains me to no end. Pray that my friend be uplifted by God and led to Jesus his Savior.

Another thing I have been noticing in Japan lately is a spiritual attack. Not only on myself but on the other missionaries located in Tokyo. I say tokyo because the attack seems to be focusing on us rather than those missionaries in Niigata. (not to say their lives are free from struggle or trials of their own.) I have been struggling with a pull to drink after classes have finished. Not because they have gone poorly or I have been frustrated but because it's a vice that exists. I've been told it's been rooted to the place I live in the past so I'm not encouraged by the signs. Another missionary has been afflicted with headaches. So not only are we being attacked with laziness and exhaustion but physical pain and frustrations. Please pray for all he missionaries as they struggle against the devil and his schemes.

However, there are times when I feel God is calling me to do things in a more progressive way. In talking with a friend she was helping lead me to create a clearer vision for some of the loose ideas floating around in my head. I still don't know how to put them into action but they are developing and God willing will be amazing opportunities to show God's power in this place.

I feel like there's so much left to say and yet my tongue is tied and my mind blank with expressions. What comes to mind instead is a movie quote which talks about being "beset on all sides." Yet, though the struggle is fierce we do not give up because our hope is in the Lord.